What makes a girl or guy your girlfriend or boyfriend? Is it the moment someone asks another person out and they say yes? Or is it that undefinable moment of connection that the two people feel? But is that really realistic? Can we really assume that in a relationship, the two people will fully understand each other every step of the way?
Let me first point out that this scenario is not some situation that I'm currently finding myself in, but rather a hypothetical situation raised by a fellow friend.
I think it's a difficult question. Initially, I would've thought that as soon as the guy asks the girl out and she says yes, you'd immediately be regarded as Girlfriend and Boyfriend. Surely the boundaries need to cleared up early on in the relationship before tensions or awkwardness arises.
Of course, we don't want one person to believe that they are the other person's boyfriend, and yet have the girl believe another thing: that they are just in a 'relationship'. But what's the difference? If a girl admits to being called another guys 'girl', is that the same as 'girlfriend'? (I'll use girlfriend and boyfriend to mean the same thing from now on) Or is it in fact worse? The term 'girlfriend' has an intimate connotation to it, in the sense that if a girl is your girlfriend, you treat her with respect and account the attraction and affection that you would for a girlfriend. But if a girl is simply someone's 'girl', can we say that there is less of an intimate relationship, and one merely of 'abuse'? (abuse, only in the lightest sense)
But if we establish the term 'girlfriend' as one of intimacy, it's possible then to argue that it's impossible to reach any sort of such intimacy at the very beginning of a relationship - hence two people cannot really be boyfriend and girlfriend from the very moment of asking each other out. There needs to be time. Time for the relationship to grow and where the two people can get to know each other more. So what are they then? Just two people 'going out'?
Where do we draw the line and decide that someone is our girlfriend/boyfriend? Does it matter? Do we offend the other partner if we overstep the line that they still believe is in front of them, instead of behind them?
Perhaps in a world like ours, the best thing to do is talk about it. If it's what both the parties want, then why not let it be? But what if they don't agree? What if one of them wants to have the label 'boyfriend', but the other one doesn't? Is it here where we could think that it was never meant to be in the first place?
When we actually question the terms, are we really erasing them from ever being real?
Lol. Frankey you are so lame. But that is an interesting point you bring up. My friends and I had this discussion awhile ago instead of studying for year 12 =) Well, we decided that just because you ask someone out on a date doesn't mean that they're your girlfriend/boyfriend. Even though when we were young, that's what it meant (which was so dumb) It's just seeing whether or not you guys are really compatible that's all and if you feel comfortable hanging around them. If it doesn't, then no fuss about it. We also decided that there were 3 stages in a relationship, which I cbbed explaining (that's just our opinion) But I guess the most important thing is what you bought up - communication. So if everyone is just upfront about it then there won't be any confusion on the issue. That is my 2cents worth (I personally believe its worth more then 2cents but that's another story)
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