Caution: this article represents a view that societal stereotypes are to blame for the delay in current-day marriages. As always, there are many exceptions to the stereotype, of which I fervently acknowledge.
Introduction
What is marriage? Certainly how I define marriage now will be a representation of society's influence on me. Marriage is the undeniable union between two loving partners who believe adamantly in their love for each other and see marriage as the acknowledgment of that love. But is that really what society thinks? Or is that what people are willing to give into?
Long gone are the days when a man and a woman would find each other and their perception of marriage would simply be an avenue of strengthening their relationship. There was never the thought of divorce. And yet nowadays society lives in an era plagued with the fear of failed marriages and the idea of being tied down to someone for the rest of one's life becomes a restriction on one's stronger belief in freedom and autonomy.
What happened to the belief in persistence? Has the notion of love been tarnished by the idea that if things don't go the way you've planned, divorce is merely a signature away? Men and women are now often seen entering marriage in their late 20s or early 30s as opposed to what would have been a consistently younger 20s almost a decade ago. The factors can be found in a myriad of influences shaping societal attitudes that are reflected strongly on the ways society now sees marriage.
Money
It is clear that money is probably one of the most significant factors concerning later marriages. Society has changed considerably over the decades. Young adults are plagued with the pressures of University Fees, Cars, food, etc and the employment sectors are growing more and more difficult to enter. People are forced to focus on University studies in order to secure a prospective career. With such constant pressures, the thought of marriage is rarely a genuine consideration. Or if it is, it is likely to be nothing more than a future possibility. Marriages are portrayed with extravagant receptions and expensive suits and dresses. One would be hard pressed to find a university student with the savings for anything within the vicinity of a wedding.
Career
Even once a young adult has secured a position in an employment sector, entrance is only the beginning. The work force is highly competitive and the struggles of having to create a good impression furthermore force the thought of marriage out of people. New employees aren't given enough holidays to properly plan a wedding. They're salaries are also expectedly short of having to repay their HECs debts - the thought of paying for a wedding is certainly a daunting idea (even if the parents are willing).
Freedom and Autonomy
With a rise in equality for both men and women in the workforce and society in general, there is a greater emphasis in today's age for the pursuit of freedom and autonomy. Most people are afraid to be tied down. Movies are often to blame. Very frequent is the scene of a group of men ridiculing the lone ranger who has 'feelings' about another girl and thinking about marriage. Quick is the 'player' to point out the flaws of marriage: 'one woman for the rest of your life', etc. And yet while these scenes are often parodies on real life, they draw closer to actual reality than many people would like to believe. Another particularly often female character in movies is that of the independent and single business-woman or journalist who is too busy with her career to think about men, let alone marriage.
Young adults are more readily given new cars on their 18th Birthdays - a symbol in itself that their parents are willing to grant them a realm of freedom and responsibility that would have been unheard of in the 1980s. Young men and women are now taught that being independent is a valuable attribute.
Promiscuity, whilst not a majority amongst young adults, is still a powerful image pushed through society. Certainly movies like American Pie help to further this notion (despite American Pie: The Wedding).
Finding the one
Popular culture has always seemed to portray the notion that everyone has their 'knight in shining armor'; all they have to do is wait (whether it be 40 years as a virgin). The 'perfect' guy or the 'perfect' girl is also a significant factor to why people are waiting until later on in the game to get tied down. Unsure of whether their partner is the real one for them, the 'uglies' of relationships are too often subconscious thoughts on those considering the idea of getting married. 'Is he really the one for me?' 'Can I see myself with this person for the rest of my life?'
The Perception of Marriage
Perhaps the over-arching problem causing later-life marriages is the incorrect perception of marriage itself. Young adults are adamant to believe that marriage means losing all freedom and all autonomy and all privileges. The belief is that marriage means having to buy a new house, a new car, and having children. The whole package itself has been portrayed by society to be rather daunting. There is no surprise then to understand why so many young adults are waiting until they find themselves a lot more mature and ready for such a large task.
Whilst divorce rates are declining, they are still at an alarming rate in Australia (13,722 in 2001) and this does nothing but contribute to the consistent weariness for couples to enter marriage.
Conclusion
Marriage is undoubtedly a very sensitive issue. Its sensitivity has certainly grown over the decades, and such may be the reason why people are now more cautious before entering into something that seems so final. Nowadays, life is given as a long and prosperous journey where independence seems encouraged. There's no longer the strong incentive to share the rest of your life with someone else and go through the trials and tribulations together as husband and wife. People feel adamant that marriage can wait; that there's always time to get married.
This divergence in the perception of marriage is not the right path. Much better are the days of our parents where marriage was an accomplished experience that should be cherished and begun at the ripe ages of the early to mid twenties. Let's go back to the days of romance and the heart-throbbing dive into an pool of unknown that is calmed only by the beating heart of your partner.
By Frankey Chung
*Divorce Rate source - http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/featurearticlesbytitle/AE4E953ED4BAA64DCA256C3800817456?OpenDocument
Introduction
What is marriage? Certainly how I define marriage now will be a representation of society's influence on me. Marriage is the undeniable union between two loving partners who believe adamantly in their love for each other and see marriage as the acknowledgment of that love. But is that really what society thinks? Or is that what people are willing to give into?
Long gone are the days when a man and a woman would find each other and their perception of marriage would simply be an avenue of strengthening their relationship. There was never the thought of divorce. And yet nowadays society lives in an era plagued with the fear of failed marriages and the idea of being tied down to someone for the rest of one's life becomes a restriction on one's stronger belief in freedom and autonomy.
What happened to the belief in persistence? Has the notion of love been tarnished by the idea that if things don't go the way you've planned, divorce is merely a signature away? Men and women are now often seen entering marriage in their late 20s or early 30s as opposed to what would have been a consistently younger 20s almost a decade ago. The factors can be found in a myriad of influences shaping societal attitudes that are reflected strongly on the ways society now sees marriage.
Money
It is clear that money is probably one of the most significant factors concerning later marriages. Society has changed considerably over the decades. Young adults are plagued with the pressures of University Fees, Cars, food, etc and the employment sectors are growing more and more difficult to enter. People are forced to focus on University studies in order to secure a prospective career. With such constant pressures, the thought of marriage is rarely a genuine consideration. Or if it is, it is likely to be nothing more than a future possibility. Marriages are portrayed with extravagant receptions and expensive suits and dresses. One would be hard pressed to find a university student with the savings for anything within the vicinity of a wedding.
Career
Even once a young adult has secured a position in an employment sector, entrance is only the beginning. The work force is highly competitive and the struggles of having to create a good impression furthermore force the thought of marriage out of people. New employees aren't given enough holidays to properly plan a wedding. They're salaries are also expectedly short of having to repay their HECs debts - the thought of paying for a wedding is certainly a daunting idea (even if the parents are willing).
Freedom and Autonomy
With a rise in equality for both men and women in the workforce and society in general, there is a greater emphasis in today's age for the pursuit of freedom and autonomy. Most people are afraid to be tied down. Movies are often to blame. Very frequent is the scene of a group of men ridiculing the lone ranger who has 'feelings' about another girl and thinking about marriage. Quick is the 'player' to point out the flaws of marriage: 'one woman for the rest of your life', etc. And yet while these scenes are often parodies on real life, they draw closer to actual reality than many people would like to believe. Another particularly often female character in movies is that of the independent and single business-woman or journalist who is too busy with her career to think about men, let alone marriage.
Young adults are more readily given new cars on their 18th Birthdays - a symbol in itself that their parents are willing to grant them a realm of freedom and responsibility that would have been unheard of in the 1980s. Young men and women are now taught that being independent is a valuable attribute.
Promiscuity, whilst not a majority amongst young adults, is still a powerful image pushed through society. Certainly movies like American Pie help to further this notion (despite American Pie: The Wedding).
Finding the one
Popular culture has always seemed to portray the notion that everyone has their 'knight in shining armor'; all they have to do is wait (whether it be 40 years as a virgin). The 'perfect' guy or the 'perfect' girl is also a significant factor to why people are waiting until later on in the game to get tied down. Unsure of whether their partner is the real one for them, the 'uglies' of relationships are too often subconscious thoughts on those considering the idea of getting married. 'Is he really the one for me?' 'Can I see myself with this person for the rest of my life?'
The Perception of Marriage
Perhaps the over-arching problem causing later-life marriages is the incorrect perception of marriage itself. Young adults are adamant to believe that marriage means losing all freedom and all autonomy and all privileges. The belief is that marriage means having to buy a new house, a new car, and having children. The whole package itself has been portrayed by society to be rather daunting. There is no surprise then to understand why so many young adults are waiting until they find themselves a lot more mature and ready for such a large task.
Whilst divorce rates are declining, they are still at an alarming rate in Australia (13,722 in 2001) and this does nothing but contribute to the consistent weariness for couples to enter marriage.
Conclusion
Marriage is undoubtedly a very sensitive issue. Its sensitivity has certainly grown over the decades, and such may be the reason why people are now more cautious before entering into something that seems so final. Nowadays, life is given as a long and prosperous journey where independence seems encouraged. There's no longer the strong incentive to share the rest of your life with someone else and go through the trials and tribulations together as husband and wife. People feel adamant that marriage can wait; that there's always time to get married.
This divergence in the perception of marriage is not the right path. Much better are the days of our parents where marriage was an accomplished experience that should be cherished and begun at the ripe ages of the early to mid twenties. Let's go back to the days of romance and the heart-throbbing dive into an pool of unknown that is calmed only by the beating heart of your partner.
By Frankey Chung
*Divorce Rate source - http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/featurearticlesbytitle/AE4E953ED4BAA64DCA256C3800817456?OpenDocument
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